Joan Mazza

Blue Zones Fare

Call me gullible again. I fell for the claims

of longevity with health, bought the pricey book

with stunning photos of foods I never heard of,

 

went on to buy miso, dashi, seaweed, and tofu,

watched the YouTube videos on how to prepare

and store them. This book is nearly vegan

 

with portions sized for petite five-year-olds.

No fish or shellfish, not even for Sardinia

and Okinawa, where the sea offers its buffet.

 

Listen, I hate to confess how easily I’ve been

bamboozled by pretty pictures and promises

that I might live to 100, remain vibrant.

 

Let’s face it, I’m not climbing up and down

the mountainside with a sack of turnips

or digging potatoes with only hand tools.

 

I never have and never will. It’s too late

to grow muscular and athletic at seventy-two.

But please, don’t lie to me about ingredients.

 

Don’t sell me books with untested recipes

whose baking times and quantities are out

of whack. Don’t tell me I need to buy

 

breadfruit, chan seeds, mirin, purple sweet

potatoes, and one large, hairy tiquisque.

The joke’s on me. I’m still a mark for magic.

 
 

Joan Mazza worked as a medical microbiologist, psychotherapist, and taught workshops nationally on understanding dreams and nightmares. She is the author of six books, including Dreaming Your Real Self (Penguin/Putnam), and her work has appeared in Atlanta Review, Italian Americana, The Comstock Review, Poet Lore, Prairie Schooner, Slant, and The Nation. She lives in rural central Virginia.