Sameen Shakya

The Sewer Rat

We rain dogs huddle together

under the awning of some bar door

passing around a single cigarette 

among the five of us and my eyes dart,

at L, who lights and takes the first puff,

singing compliments about this girl he met

yesterday at some library, god knows

he’s got clean enough clothes that they won’t throw him out.

She was reading a book on chemistry, and he

asked if she could see some between them.

It worked. M laughs the first and I eye

as the cigarette passes to his lips. A says,

“Well, is there?” and they all laugh. I just

want the goddamn cigarette passed to me.

O asks me when did I last eat. “You’ve got

this look on your eyes” as A takes his puff.

The seconds pass without a sense of urgency.

Finally, it gets to O then me. I can taste it.

The smoke filling my lungs. I’m gonna savor it, but

as O passes the dying cigarette to me

the rain fueled wind blows it away,

and it lands on a puddle to be bulleted by rain.

They stand silent as I walk off.

O calls for me but my hoodie drowns him out.

I slink into an alley as a rat in a sewer

to be drowned. Maybe I will too.

I just wanted a goddamn cigarette.

 
 

Sameen Shakya’s poems have been published in Alternate Route, Cosmic Daffodil, Hearth and Coffin, Roi Faineant and Thin Veil Press, to name a few. Born and raised in Kathmandu, Nepal, he moved to the USA in 2015 to pursue writing. He earned an Undergraduate Degree in Creative Writing from St Cloud State University and traveled the country for a couple of years to gain a more informal education. He returned to Kathmandu in 2022 and is currently based there.