Portraits of America by Elina Katrin
1.
My mother’s Америка is always sunny.
It’s Floreeda, not Florida. It’s Russian-dubbed Hollywood
flicks from early 2000s.
Sandy beaches and older women
jogging, lifting 3-pound dumbbells, eating mango & dragon
fruit with their boyfriends on top
of yellow Lambos.
It’s fro-yo signs neon, bright lights of the big
city blinding, L.A. L.A. baby, it never rains
in my mother’s Америка.
When I was younger, she told me dreams know
how to walk in Америка, daughters are happier
there in Америка, she said as soon as I move
to Америка my writing would cover the peel
of the big apple, and I would shapeshift from Jasmine
into Aurora here
in Америка.
2.
My sister’s 🐻 άΜ𝕖RᎥ𝔠ά 🌈 is chic & glamorous
It’s JoJo Siwa-colored fountain
drinks &
ASOS graphic tees, it’s a Buzz-
Feed quiz ⏰ which Jonas Brother would you rather
date ⏰ and the right answer
is all of them ‼️ Top 10 new TikTok moves, and she
is not talking Ke$ha, her sound
is modern, beauty
filtered & social.
It’s the land of free
money built on likes and smashing that thumbs
up button.
My sister’s 🐻 άΜ𝕖RᎥ𝔠ά 🌈 lets children
bring iPads to school, and in Russia she is 😒.
Over the phone she begs
to bring her to 🐻 άΜ𝕖RᎥ𝔠ά 🌈
so she can live like Doja Cat
in the “Say So” video.
.3
My father’s أمریكا is expensive. Dollar
signs embroidered, ka-ching! ka-ching! on every
corner.
Love+hate comedy drama, pretzel-twisted,
soaked in mustard, overpriced,
misused & filled
with consumer attitude. My father’s أمریكا
is the land of Musks & Gateses.
It’s the Amazon conveyer always running,
the country of sin, the nation of money,
it’s the I sent you to this country to be somebody
& you became
a poet. My father’s أمریكا is brutal. Turn away
and it bites, bitter. Through clenched
teeth busted & slithered,
أمریكا broke my father’s
backbone.
He wants me
back.
4.
Mine is forty minutes on hold with doctors,
the soonest appointment is in two
months, but here,
help yourself
to some Oreos, thirteen different kinds.
It’s sunrises on the South Beach
and sunsets at McAfee Knob.
It’s $7.50 Butterbeer at Harry Potter World
and a tempting, Twinkie-paved road,
every bite taking me further
from home. A fairy tale
where Jasmine pays
$65k a year in college tuition.
My America is Funfetti but selfish.
It tears me apart like salt
water taffy.
My America cues an old meme:
expectation vs. reality.
I thought I would party in the U.S.A. with Miley,
but all I do is study
how to survive in the country
where people are tiered and tired,
and every breath turns battle,
until it doesn’t.
Elina Katrin is a poet originally from St. Petersburg, Russia, who now resides in Appalachia. She is an MFA candidate at Hollins University and a baking enthusiast. Her poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in The Emerson Review, Rappahannock Review, Voices & Visions, Gravel, and Prometheus Dreaming. Her twitter handle is @linakatrin.