it could've been worse

Kate LaDew

says the man across the desk from a few inches above me,

chair high so he must look down, the way dictators do

it could've been worse

not all the girls of this world are as lucky as you

I describe the features I saw over me that night and as the pages flip,

sketch artists don't do their own work these days,

a series of eyes and mouths and chins and noses meld

a boy appearing who looks like any other boy says the man across the desk

leaning back and away, signaling the end of our conversation

as if we were old friends and I must catch a train

it could've been worse he reminds me, eyes on the door, not all girls are as lucky

and I continue living, going to sleep, when I do, with the lullaby

it could've been worse it could've been worse it could have been worse

and I don't tell anyone because then they would know

and the fear of it could've been worse

rising like an echo from someone I love

is more frightening than any hand over my mouth

the times when I remember god,

like an old friend who's caught a train and forgot to wave, I say

please

please don't let all the boys of this world grow up to be the man across the desk

please

please don't let all the girls of this world be as lucky as me