Empirical Research on Angry Women

Joy Curtis

An invisible hand burst into my chest, gripped my heart, and squeezed it in chaotic pulses (Herrald & Tomaka, 2002). I pressed wrinkles into my forehead, stringed fine lines under my eyes, and stretched my lips thin (Malatesta & Izard, 1984). My locked jaw makes my face brutish (Manfredini et al., 2011) and lead poured from my head into my bones (Lundberg, 1999).

They told me not to be angry; they wrote it in a book and published it for me to read (King James Version, 1994, Proverbs 21:19). It was not just me— they told women for centuries not to be angry (Aristotle, 2011). But I was still angry (Thomas, 1993).

I know it would be better to never express my anger (Brescoll & Uhlmann, 2008). I would have more friends (Tiedens, 2001). I would make more money (Raver, 2004). I would be more successful in school (Graziano et al., 2007). I would be more established at work (Sloan, 2012). I would be more loved in my marriage (Gottman & Levenson, 1992). It does depend on how you define more, but I'm not a fool; women without anger do better (Heilman, 2001).

I express anger like a woman (Wood & Eagly, 2012). It must rot inside me like an apple, leading an unseen thread through a labyrinth (Eagly & Carli, 2007). Over the years, it would layer like the sticky dust that doesn't just brush off with a finger (Harburg et al., 2003). Maybe it would slip like a noose around my neck and tighten yearly until I stopped breathing (Kiecolt-Glaser et al., 2002). Or in an instant, I could slip off the three-legged stool I have as “my seat at the table” and snap my neck (Suls & Bunde, 2005).

In truth, society says I can get angry (Lerner et al., 2006). I'm just not supposed to be angry; there is a difference (Shields, 2002). To prevent myself from being angry all the time, I am developing good coping strategies (Gianakos, 2000). But it seems the more aware I am, the more angry I become (Kring & Gordon, 1998). Domestic violence is masked as normal (World Health Organization, 2024). Solving world hunger is a joke (Trumbic, 2020). Poverty is so common we have levels to it (National Women's Law Center, 2019). And even if there was more money, (Leibbrandt & List, 2015) the opposite of poverty isn’t wealth, it is justice (National Women's Law Center, 2019). Problems make me angry, but when I think of the injustice of it all I am irate (O'Leary et al., 2009).

I'm really not that virtuous, my anger is not always about social justice because usually it is personal and even selfish sometimes (American Psychological Association, 2019). I'm angry that my mom ate oatmeal sandwiches and ketchup soup the year after her mom died because her dad kicked her out of the house (U.S. Census Bureau, 2020). I'm angry that I only exist because the king raped my great-grandmother (McDonald, 1985). I researched my gynecologist to make sure he was not a sex offender (Pintas & Mullins Law Firm, 2024). There is a chance the doctor might end my surgery by making me infertile (Utah Department of Public Safety, n.d). Someone told me to calm down (Frost & Averill, 1982).

As a little girl, I wanted to be a fairy with freshly grown flowers popping up from my footprints (Harris & Wagg, 2019). There was a time when I wasn’t angry at all; I was afraid (Ziegler & Lake, 1979). Now, all I imagine is standing on the cusp of society, screaming as flames flurry from my mouth, scourging everything in their path (Fischer & Evers, 2009). With each scream, the glass windows melt, and buildings collapse like dominos (Ekman et al., 1983). But still, no one hears me (Fishman, 1978). 

There was a point when the Bible frightened me with images of the second coming engulfing the earth in flame, but now I'm content (Quran, 39:68). If I'm too wicked for God to allow me to participate in the rapture, I could sit at my office window, sipping my morning tea, and watch the entire earth melt into ash with each passing second (Levenson, 1992). I lay awake at night, dreaming of being the flame that ushers in the new birth (Stemmler et al., 2001).

If God touched me, I'd be the spark that ignited it all (Ax, 1953). I'd evacuate everyone before I did it, ensuring everyone was among the stars and above the mushroom clouds I dropped for peace (Alperovitz, 1995). After the eruption, I'd run my hands through the tephra (Shoji et al., 1993), ash rolling through my fingers into a soil bed (Vitousek & Farrington, 1997). When I blink, everyone returns from heaven to cultivate the earth (Easwaran, 2007).

Anger brings change (Goodwin & Jasper, 2004). Wins championships (Lazenby, 2014). Sparks activism (Ali & Durham, 2004). Builds nations (Friend, 2003). Resolves injustices (Womack, 1968). Advocates for nature (Suzuki, 2009). Leads revolts (Reynolds, 2005). Establishes economies (Vogel, 2011). Writes alphabets (Kim, 2008). Paints murals (Herrera, 1986). Publishes music (Midnight Oil, 1987). Designs clothes (Stewart, 2001). Founds schools (Douglass, 1845). They don't care if I am angry (Scott, 1990). My emotions are not necessary to them at all (Piven & Cloward,1977); They don't want to be uncomfortable when things change (Gilligan, 1982).

I wasn't born this way and will not even give the world credit for making me angry (Doniger, 1981). One sleepless night, something snapped, like I was a glowstick that got bent in half and shaken (Lutwak et al., 2003). At that moment, I chose anger (Hercus, 1999). I woke up (Tavris, 1989). I stepped outside (Martin et al., 2020).

They told me I looked angry (Hess et al., 2004).

So, I told them they were right. (Brody, 1993).

I am angry (Simon & Nath, 2004).

I want change (Tiedens, 2001).

References