Madari Pendas
ORP: What inspired you to begin writing or creating? Has that source of inspiration changed throughout your life?
Madari Pendas: Something I've realized over the past few years is that writing for me is related to social justice. Whenever I've felt outraged or bothered by something, my instinct is to start writing about it. Perhaps it's a desire to share my experiences with the world. I think writing and art, in itself, gives one the power to reappropriate their own experiences. Sometimes I think "If I can write about it openly, then I've survived it."
ORP: Do you write or create with an audience in mind? If so, how do you consider the relationship between that audience and your work throughout your creative process?
MP: In the initial stages, I write for myself. Those early drafts are both therapy sessions and an exploratory process. I'm not sure if anyone will read my work so it's vital that I at least love it and made it with the necessary intent. Creating for yourself I think allows you to be more authentically you. I want to make things that my younger self would have flipped out to see at a bookstore or in a literary journal.
ORP: What does success as a writer or artist mean to you?
MP: When I was in my MFA, I heard a lot of people say that success was publishing with a big publishing house and getting to live exclusively off their writing. While that would be nice, my definition of success is making art that I feel proud of and that felt necessary for me to write in my lifetime. In terms of publishing, as long as it's out in the world I don't care if the publisher is famous or not. If your words and work are out there, then I think you've won. It's why I really admire people who share their work online and take the power back for themselves.
ORP: What does vulnerability mean to you as an artist and/or writer?
MP: Vulnerability means portraying yourself as honestly as possible, even when that means admitting and presenting yourself as the bad guy. Sometimes we are the ones who have erred and hurt others. Good writing should present the complications and nuances of existence. I still struggle with knowing how to present my mistakes, especially when they involve other people, but I do think it's necessary in art.
ORP: What do you hope readers (or your audience) will take away from your creative work?
MP: As a survivor of sexual assault, I feel connected to the other victims that my abuser harmed, but also to the other people who had to live through that as children. The story shows how we suddenly are linked (sometimes legally) and grouped by similar crimes. There is a connection there, profound and sometimes one you'd like to escape/forget/ignore. There is so much guilt that comes from these experiences and I hope readers realize that so much energy goes towards surviving, and sometimes you feel like you didn't.
